yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
