I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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