Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
