Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
