recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
