I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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