I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
