Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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