That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
