Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
