i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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