I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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