soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
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