Don't you send me to vm
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
