i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
