Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
