Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
