the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
