He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
