even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
