Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
