im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
