yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
