the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
