He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize