very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
tell me about the eggs
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
