her vagine was all disorganized.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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