Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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