So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
