Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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