When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
