I wish I could teleport
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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