the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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