The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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