Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
