spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
