Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
