I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
