Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
