Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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