If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize