There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
