haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
