Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Please don't give away my fajitas
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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