Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
