drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize