At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
