I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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