He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
