wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize