Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
