So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
