Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I fill condoms, not promises.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
