I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Terrible idea I love it
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize