I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
