What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
