omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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