Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
