3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
