Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends

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(973): View more from New Jersey

You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?

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(615): View more from Tennessee

As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.

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(216): View more from Ohio

I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.

(1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

Wait. Someome brought slutcake?

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(283): View more from Ohio

$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.

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(619): View more from California

According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.

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(408): View more from California

He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower

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