I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
