i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Sober January is a disaster.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
