hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
