Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think a kid would responsible me up
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
