All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
