Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
